Totem Chapter 1 Part 1 Out!

Alrightyyy. Translating this took quite a while QQ, but it was fun. HAHAHAH no plot movement yet though. It’s like I’ve been translating the novel version of a medical drama. Seriously. BUT, I found it to be much more interesting than the first chapter of MER. (I have faith in you MER!) We’ll see how it goes when the plot begins picking up and we’re past this exposition part (for both novels). (PS: excuse my terminology, I’m pretty sure I’ve made quite a number of errors, but the overall meaning is accurate).

Have fun reading guys!

Chapter 1 – Twenty-Seven Seconds, You Deserve to Be Incapable of Finding a Girlfriend!

Part 1:

Early morning, Paris Medical University, Human Anatomy Class.

“Protest, we must protest! The administrative office actually arranged a twenty-six year old professor for us. This is an insult to us!”

On the platform, an old man with two patches of graying hair on either side of his head shouted animatedly as he waved his arms.

This old man’s name was Dandy* (dān dí), and he was the headmaster of a third-rate medical university, as well as a famous scholar of human anatomy.

(TL note* I don’t even knowww; diminutive of the name Andrew)

Not long ago, Dandy had received an invitation from the Paris Medical University. On it, it read, “Headmaster Dandy, in the past few years, upon looking over the field of human anatomy, I’ve had a breakthrough in research. As such, I have specially established a class for advanced studies. If you are interested, please inform me by December 1st!”

Dandy was a bit displeased. To let a headmaster go and become a student, wasn’t this just bullying people?

However, Paris Medical University was the world’s best among first-rate medical institutions, and they were especially known for their academic program on human anatomy. Dandy felt that if he didn’t go, wouldn’t his fellow colleagues and peers of the same field think him unreasonable? Would the professors at Paris Medical University consider it as him not giving them face?

Following this train of thought, Dandy ultimately attended with extreme reluctance!

But then, when he went into the classroom, once Dandy saw the identities of all his other classmates, the grumpiness in his heart immediately vanished into thin air, and he instead got excited to the point that he couldn’t contain himself!

God, this advanced studies class only has thirty-six students: thirty-six people, twenty of them chairmen, twelve of them headmasters, three of them that enjoyed the reputation of an international anatomic authority, and the final one was amazingly the recipient of last year’s Nobel Prize in medical physiology!

This classroom was clearly only for the expert scholars and specialists to study!

To be able to become a classmate with so many prominent and distinguished people… face, face!

“Greetings, fellow students!”

Right at this moment, Dandy heard a voice resonate through the air, and lifting his head, he saw that it came from two educational assistants that walked in.

One assistant pushed a portable dissection table, and on it was placed two adult male cadavers. “Fellow students, this is anatomic subject we will be using for this class. Please pay close attention: this one is a thirty-six year old who died in a traffic accident, while the other is a twenty-eight year old who died from swine flu…”

The other assistant carried a stack of blue-bound booklets and handed it out one by one, “Fellow students, within this blue-bound booklet is a brief introduction of the professors for this term’s advanced studies class. To better learn the curriculum, we ask that all esteemed guests read it thoroughly and understand your instructors in advance…”

The main show has begun!

To be qualified to teach so many scholarly authorities and experts, exactly what kind of person was this new instructor?

Dandy was incomparably curious, and reverently opened the blue-bound booklet to the first page…

“This term’s advanced studies class instructor, Head Professor You Jiang Nan: Jiang Nan, Chinese nationality, twenty-six years old…”

Reading up to here, Dandy’s expression changed, “What is the meaning of this? The educational administrative office actually arranged for a twenty-six year old instructor? Could it be that they have no knowledge of our identity? We’re professors, chairmen, headmasters, and one of us is even a Nobel Prize winner!”

“This is ridiculous, absurd! I’m already sixty-eight years old this year. I definitely cannot accept a twenty-six year old instructor!”

Another expert also stood up, and with a “bang” that booklet slammed onto the floor. “What kind of medical accomplishments can a youth of twenty-six years achieve? How much ability could he have to educate us?! Absurd, too absurd!”

Other self-confident experts, although they didn’t voice their objections, also revealed extremely unsightly expressions!

When Dandy saw that his voice of protest had unexpectedly lead a group of seven or eight other experts to echo him, he immediately grew hot-blooded and rushed onto the rostrum, “Fellow scholars, fellow seniors, originally I didn’t even have the qualifications to address you. But this time, the educational administrative office has truly gone too far! We must raise a protest! Furthermore, we should also send a proposal to the educational administrative office to make this Professor Jiang Nan youth to beat it! Who’s with me?”

“I’m in!”

“Count me in as well! Ai, this is simply too outrageous!”

The atmosphere in the classroom immediately reached a boiling point, and the two assistants exchanged a glance and laughed bitterly, “What should we do? Based on the identities of these long-time specialists, they are completely qualified to raise a protest, and are also completely qualified to drive this Professor Jiang Nan out…”

“What can we even do? I’m going to go look for Professor Jiang!”

One assistant already felt that the circumstances were already out of his control, and stealthily slipped out of the classroom.  

However, right as he went out the door, he saw a glasses-wearing youth leaning against the wall, on one hand gently cleaning a cane, and on the other calmly laughing…

“Professor Jiang, you*, you’ve already arrived?”

*addressing in a more formal, respectful manner

God, since you actually came, why didn’t you go in? The assistant hastily said: “Professor Jiang, hurry up and go in to take a look. The mood of those scholarly experts is already…”

“Calm down, calm down!”

The youth continued to clean the cane. Only until there wasn’t even a speck of dust left did he take his sweet time to reach the classroom entrance, “Alright, I’ll go settle them down.”

The assistant sighed and anxiously said: “Professor Jiang, be extra careful. The identity of these long-time specialists are in no way similar to those commonly seen. Don’t offend them by any means…”

The youth was already about to push the door open, but turned and laughed at the assistant’s words, “Mister, do you know why?”

“Huh?”

“Why I can become a professor at just twenty-six years old, while *you, who are already thirty-two years old is still only an assistant?”

(*formal)

“This… please advise me.”

“Because in my perspective, those so-called specialists and authorities are meant to be offended, are meant to be surpassed, are meant to be conquered! Do you understand now?”

   ……

“Esteemed seniors, good morning!”

Jiang Nan pushed open the classroom door, walked onto the rostrum and spread his arms wide, “Let me give a brief introduction of myself, Jiang Nan. You may call me Professor Jiang, or Teacher Jiang!”

In that split second, the whole classroom went silent.

The specialists all measured this ‘Jiang Nan’ with suspicion, thinking, THIS is Jiang Nan? What refined and elegant bearing, what a perfect smile…

However, no matter how good his outward appearance, it did not hide the fact that he was only twenty-six years old!

Jiang Nan must be driven out!

Jiang Nan measured and took into consideration all the expressions of the specialists before him. Without even giving them a chance to speak, he used his cane and *waved it at his ear, “Alright. Everyone’s identities, everyone’s dissatisfactions, I’ve already heard it from the outside! Esteemed elders, you believe… that I am not capable of educating you all, is that correct?”
(*就用手杖拨了拨自己的耳朵 raw because I’m unsure, but I’m assuming he’s signalling them to be quiet because he’s already heard enough)

The specialists shared mutual glances between themselves, and finally Dandy stood up, “Correct, we believe that you don’t have the qualifications to educate us!”

“But, my qualifications, my capabilities… just because you’ve assumed so… does it mean it’s correct?”

Dandy was stumped.

“Alright. Esteemed elders, I will give you all an opportunity, an opportunity to authenticate my capabilities: this class’ originally planned curriculum is canceled. Within the period of one class, just within the anatomy category, you all may challenge any aspect of my abilities! If I fail, then you all won’t have to send a proposal to the administrative office. I will take the initiative to leave. But, if within your group none of you can prevail over me…”

Jiang Nan shook his head and laughed, no longer continuing to speak further, but those scholarly experts were able to understand the implied meaning, “If even your assembled group of thirty-six of the world’s most outstanding anatomy experts still can’t prevail over me, then please willingly and genuinely attend class, and sincerely call me… Teacher Jiang!”

Jiang Nan just sat beside the cadavers, “Right now, who wishes to be the first to challenge me?”

The scholarly experts suddenly began to hesitate. It’s not that they were afraid of losing, but based on their identity and status, to go and challenge a twenty-six year old youth…

Was shameful!

After a long while, Dandy hastily put himself out in front of all the other experts, striding to stand before the dissecting platform, “This youngster who doesn’t know how high the heavens are and how profound the earth is, I, Headmaster Dandy of Sofia Medical University, have come to give you a lesson!”

Jiang Nan chuckled, saying: “Elder, what aspect of my ability do you wish to challenge?”

“As everybody knows, the speed at which one dissects a cadaver symbolizes the degree of understand an anatomy specialist has towards the structure of the human body. More importantly, it indicates the standard of anatomical experts. Jiang Nan, I will compete in dissection speed with you!”

Dandy grabbed a scalpel from the platform and took out a stopwatch, declaring arrogantly: “I don’t know how long you need to completely dissect a cadaver, but I only need three minutes! Jiang Nan, do you dare to compete with me?”

“I’ve already said, I will accept any kind of challenge.” Jiang Nan shrugged.

“Alright, then I’ll start timing now!”

Dandy used one hand to start the stopwatch to time it by seconds and brandished the scalpel with the other. Like lightning, he used the scalpel and pierced into the chest area of the cadaver!

The eyes of the rest of the specialists all revealed a sort of excitement!

Completely dissecting a cadaver wasn’t just an average person’s understanding of ‘cutting a corpse to pieces’, as if ‘killing a pig then skinning and deboning it’ only.

A fully intact human body consisted of tens of complicated groupings and systems——the heart, the brain, the skeleton… Only by removing these organs and body parts and categorizing them into groups on the dissecting platform, while making sure that each individual organ was a single entity within the group, would this be considered a ‘complete dissection’!

Dandy’s boasting of only having to take three minutes, if he didn’t lie, then his understanding of the human body structure had already reached the level of ‘knowing it like the back of his hand’. As such, he would have no qualms in identifying himself as a ‘scholarly authority’ in regards to anatomy!

Jiang Nan faintly chuckled as he observed Dandy’s dissecting technique, then suddenly asked: “Elder, if my dissecting speed is slower than yours, then I’ll naturally excuse myself. But… what if yours is slower than mine?”

Dandy momentarily blanked out, then snorted: “If I’m slower than you, then from this day forward, no matter where I am or what situation I am in, I will refer to you as ‘honored teacher’!”

Jiang Nan laughed in satisfaction and moved to one side of the other cadaver, slowly extending out his cane…

Click! The cane split apart, and a set of master craftsman dissecting tools unexpectedly appeared!

“Good heavens, this is…”

The experts stood dumbstruck, and some even leaked expressions of greed. To an anatomy specialist, this cane was an absolutely priceless treasure!

“Esteemed elders, although the person who gifted this cane to me stated that this cane was supposedly constructed from a meteorite fallen from the heavens and conceals seventy-two different types of dissecting tools, and is truly marvelous beyond compare, can you all temporarily forget its quality please? That is because… I am about to begin dissecting!”

Jiang Nan attracted everyone’s gazes, then beamed as he looked at Dandy, “This esteemed elder said that he only needed three minutes to completely dissect a cadaver, which is very good. I am very content to fulfill the role of his instructor. But… to completely dissect a cadaver, I only need twenty-seven seconds!”

Only twenty-seven seconds to perform a complete dissection?!

The specialists exploded into an uproar, “Preposterous, this is absolutely impossible!”

“You all think it is ludicrous, impossible? But I only want to say this——that none of you understand doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist!”

Suddenly, Jiang Nan lightly flicked his cane, and an exquisitely sharp scalpel jumped into the palm of his hand as he spun and pierced it into the cadaver’s throat!

“Esteemed elders, how many of China’s historical anecdotes do you know and understand? Have you heard of a story by the name of ‘*Butcher Ding’s Bull Dismembering’?”

(*TL: It’s a fable, but I can’t seem to find any English translation of it, and I’m much too lazy to translate it. Anyways, it’s basically equivalent to skilled and magical craftsmanship, and being able to control your hand any way you want and understanding the object of craftsmanship to an unimaginable level.)